"Men and women can't be friends because the sex always gets in the way." Billy Crystal's line in When Harry Met Sally (1989) summarizes a deeply ingrained prejudice. Yet, scientific data paints a much more nuanced picture. According to a study by the Maes institute among 1,000 Belgians, published in April 2026, nearly 4 out of 5 people (79%) consider that a strictly platonic friendship between a man and a woman is entirely possible. This figure testifies to a major societal shift: professional, academic, and social mixing has profoundly changed relational dynamics over a generation.
However, evolutionary psychology research offers a more contrasted perspective. The work of April Bleske-Rechek, a psychology professor at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, has highlighted a persistent asymmetry: in her studies published between 2012 and 2016, involving over 400 adults, men significantly more often reported experiencing attraction to their female friends than vice versa. This perceptual asymmetry crosses all age groups and challenges the idea of a perfectly symmetrical friendship. "Men overestimate their friends' romantic interest, while women underestimate their friends'," Bleske-Rechek summarizes in her conclusions.
In France, clinical psychologist Catherine Aimelet-Périssol emphasizes that male-female friendship rests on three fundamental pillars: transparency, respect for boundaries, and honest communication. "The problem isn't occasional attraction—it's natural—but the ability to recognize it without letting it destroy the relationship," she explains. Couple's therapists also observe that mixed friendships become particularly sensitive when one of the partners is in a relationship. According to an IFOP survey from 2023, 42% of French people admit that male-female friendship causes tension in their romantic relationship.
Neuroscience provides complementary insights. Oxytocin, often called the "bonding hormone," is released during deep social interactions—whether friendship or love. The brain doesn't always clearly distinguish between the two forms of attachment, which can explain this emotional grey area that many people experience. Robin Dunbar, an anthropologist at Oxford and author of the 150-friend theory, notes that mixed friendships generally occupy the intermediate circles of our social network—neither as intimate as our 5 closest friends, nor as peripheral as mere acquaintances.
Ultimately, science does not provide a binary answer. Male-female friendship is possible, frequent, and often enriching, but it comes with specific emotional complexity that neither men nor women should underestimate. Sociologists observe that generations born after 2000, accustomed to natural mixing from childhood, report less discomfort in mixed friendships—a sign that cultural norms are evolving faster than our biological reflexes. Sources and links: - Maes Study — DH/Les Sports+, April 2026 - Bleske-Rechek, A. et al. (2012) — Benefit or Burden? Attraction in Cross-Sex Friendship - Bleske-Rechek, A. et al. (2016) — Sex Differences in Young Adults' Attraction - Male-Female Friendship Still Questions Psychology — Psychologie-positive.com - Dunbar, R. (2021), *Friends: Understanding the Power of our Most Important Relationships*, Little, Brown - Le Nouvel Économiste — Is Male-Female Friendship Possible?
