“Men and women can't be friends, because the sex always gets in the way.” Billy Crystal's line in When Harry Met Sally (1989) summarises a deeply ingrained prejudice. Yet, scientific data paints a far more nuanced picture. According to a study by the Maes institute among 1,000 Belgians, published in April 2026, nearly 4 out of 5 people (79%) believe that a strictly platonic friendship between a man and a woman is entirely possible. This figure reflects a major societal shift: professional, academic, and social integration has profoundly altered relational dynamics over a generation.
However, evolutionary psychology research offers a more contrasting perspective. The work of April Bleske-Rechek, a psychology professor at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, has highlighted a persistent asymmetry: in her studies published between 2012 and 2016 involving over 400 adults, men report feeling attracted to their female friends significantly more often than the reverse. This perceptual asymmetry cuts across all age groups and challenges the idea of a perfectly symmetrical friendship. “Men overestimate their female friends' romantic interest, while women underestimate their male friends',” Bleske-Rechek summarises in her conclusions.
In France, clinical psychologist Catherine Aimelet-Périssol stresses that man-woman friendship rests on three fundamental pillars: transparency, respect for boundaries, and honest communication. “The problem isn't occasional attraction—it's natural—but the ability to recognise it without letting it destroy the relationship,” she explains. Couple's therapists also observe that mixed-gender friendships become particularly sensitive when one of the partners is in a relationship. According to an IFOP survey from 2023, 42% of French people admit that man-woman friendships create tension in their romantic relationship.
Neuroscience offers complementary insights. Oxytocin, often called the "bonding hormone," is released during deep social interactions—whether friendship or love. The brain doesn't always clearly distinguish between these two forms of attachment, which can explain the emotional grey area that many people experience. Robin Dunbar, an anthropologist at Oxford and author of the "150 friends" theory, notes that mixed-gender friendships generally occupy the intermediate circles of our social network—neither as intimate as our 5 closest people, nor as peripheral as mere acquaintances.
Ultimately, science does not provide a binary answer. Man-woman friendship is possible, common, and often enriching, but it comes with a specific emotional complexity that neither men nor women should underestimate. Sociologists observe that generations born after 2000, accustomed to natural co-education from childhood, report less discomfort in mixed-gender friendships—a sign that cultural norms are evolving faster than our biological reflexes. Sources and links: - Maes Study — DH/Les Sports+, April 2026 - Bleske-Rechek, A. et al. (2012) — Benefit or Burden? Attraction in Cross-Sex Friendship - Bleske-Rechek, A. et al. (2016) — Sex Differences in Young Adults' Attraction - Man-Woman Friendship Still Questions Psychology — Psychologie-positive.com - Dunbar, R. (2021), *Friends: Understanding the Power of our Most Important Relationships*, Little, Brown - Le Nouvel Économiste — Is Man-Woman Friendship Possible?
